Saying Goodbye....

I now have 2 babies that I have never had the chance to hold. 
We were told on Thursday, after looking at the ultrasound, that the baby did not
grow past 6 weeks, and the heart stopped. 

So, here at home I've been since Thursday, for the most part, sitting in my
pj's and not up to going out and about. 

I skipped the farm market yesterday.  I do apologize to my customers.  I just
could not make myself spend the day "business as usual".

My D&C was scheduled for tomorrow morning at 6 am.  I am rescheduling because there
is no way in the world I will be able to make the appt. at that time.  I want Al with me,
but those cows still have to be milked.  That's our reality, dairy business goes on.  Plus,
I would have to pull out of here no later than 4 am. 

And, maybe I'm just dragging my feet about the appt.  I want to be ready, not make the
appt. in a hurried way.  The news was so sudden, and I don't think I was even to myself when
they made the appt.  Now, I'm a little clearer, and have some questions to ask regarding it.

Emily is understanding very well.  I'm so glad we chose to tell her about the baby.  She would be
very scared at my hospital visit this week if she did not know why.  She told me that she
would take care of me. 

I will be going to an Endocrinologist (sp????).  The appt. for that is April 2.  Such a ways off!
It will be good to be with a specialist regarding my diabetes.  Thankfully my numbers are
heading in the right direction, and consistently.  I will make that the positive of the sadness.